The visit with the rheumatologist yesterday was beyond understanding. More than once he said he didn’t understand and he couldn’t explain it.  What was so puzzling – the fact the in 1983 and in the 1990’s two different test results for lupus came back positive but now this most recent test shows negative for lupus.  Yet, signs, indications and similarities of lupus are present.

The ongoing diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis, another auto immune disease, still stands. He tells me to continue to stay out of the sun and try the new medicine he is giving me.  Maybe it will help with movement, pain and other things I have been dealing with.

The other puzzle is the atrophy in the brain that appears to be causing the lack of balance, mobility and memory issues.  What caused it?  The possibilities that were mentioned are some sort of stroke sometime in the past or a fore runner of dementia.  When did it start?  Can it be slowed down?  What happens next?  Many questions go through my mind.  Few answers.  Later this month I go for more testing and that may give us some answers and direction.

I am thankful to know that God knows the beginning from the end and He knows what each day will bring.  While all this boggles my mind, no pun intended, not one bit of it is a surprise to God.  He is in control.  He knows how and when He will accomplish His plan and purpose for my life in His time.

Here are a couple excerpts from songs that help me to keep all this in perspective.

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow

I don’t worry o’er the future
For I know what Jesus said
And today I’ll walk beside Him
For He knows what lies ahead

Many things about tomorrow
I don’t seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand

Songwriters: Ira Stanphill

I Know Who Holds Tomorrow lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

Because He Lives

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living, just because He lives

Songwriters: Gloria Gaither / Willam J. Gaither

Because He Lives lyrics © Capitol Christian Music Group

God’s Word gives hope beyond understanding.

Jeremiah 29:11   New Living Translation (NLT)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Psalm 73:23   New Living Translation (NLT)

²³ Yet I still belong to You;
You hold my right hand.

Psalm 138:7   New International Version (NIV) 

⁷ Though I walk in the midst of trouble,
You preserve my life.
You stretch out Your hand against the anger of my foes;
with Your right hand You save me.

Psalm 34:4   New Living Translation (NLT)

⁴ I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me.
He freed me from all my fears.