Hi, my name is Lyn and I have lupus.  There, I have said it.  Since 1985, for most of the time, I have tried not to talk about it other than with family but things are changing now.  I can no longer deny that it affects my everyday life in more ways than I want to admit.

Lupus to me means not getting too much sun, not getting overheated or too cold, not getting too tired, not overdoing it, not eating the wrong foods, not, not, not.   Over the years I have learned to turn these around – stay cool and in the shade, get enough rest, get a balance diet (whatever that is with many food sensitivities).  It means tired arms long before my hair suits me, saying no to activities, responsibilities and commitments when I want to say yes.  It’s meant wanting to help but knowing I will be risking being down for a day or two. It means watching more than doing because the strength and ability just isn’t there and the tiredness never seems to end.

Recently it means increased doctor visits and trying new medications by trial and error until we find what works so I can breathe and move or rest without pain. It means so much more but there is no need to get into it right now.

All of this can be very challenging for lots of reasons but the most important and hardest one is that what is seen on the outside physically is not always a reflection of what is on the inside.  Much like our spiritual selves.  One can look healthy spiritually being in church and doing all the right things but God sees the inside and knows the heart.

Speaking of God, if it were not for Him and the power of prayer, I do not believe I would have made it through this maze of do’s and don’ts.  More often than not, my “want to” wants to do what it cannot.   But, God has blessed me with family and friends that fill in the gaps day in and day out! They know it’s not sympathy I want from them but understanding and sometimes tough love. That’s what keeps me going.  On yet a higher level, it is the faithfulness of my awesome God who hears and answers my prayers.

I think these words from a song in the Lifeway Sunday School material says it better than I ever could.

In His Presence I am standing, on His Strength I am depending

In Christ I am, In Christ I am

I am Renewed, I am Restored, I am Forgiven, I am Redeemed, I am Complete

Now I am Living, In Christ I am a New Creation

Taken from Lifeway Sunday School Material

Jeremy Johnson, Paul Marino

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